Is God a boob man or an ass man?

My beloved and I are mentoring a woman as she deconstructs her understanding of God and sex built over decades of seminary and ministry. One of her recent questions helped me realize the absurdity of the notion that there is a "right" way to experience sexual attraction or gender identity. She asked me to put the thoughts I verbalized into writing, so I'm doing that here.

Within heterosexual circles it's pretty common to hear offhand comments about physical characteristics people find attractive. Some guys like big boobs. Some are leg men. Others are all about that bass. The same holds true for women; some get excited by a hairy chest, others find them kind of gross. Some girls groove on guys built like linebackers, others prefer their lovers compact and lithe.

So if we are to believe God has an ideal for sexual desire's orientation, what is the holiest type of attraction? Is it more godly to get excited by big boobs or small ones? Should good Christian women seek conversion therapy if they find furry shoulders sexier than sleek ones, or is it the reverse, because of Essau's blessedly hairy knuckles? How does God feel about a Bible-believing man's excitement over his wife's ankles? Is ankle attraction sinful?

The same ridiculousness applies to gender. Long before gender came to the forefront of national discourse, everyone—even devout Christians—recognized variations in gender performance. It's nothing new. Females who liked sports and avoided dresses were called tom boys. A wide range of masculinity was understood, with ubermasculine guys considered macho studs, and "atypical" guys labeled as nerds or sissies.

So if the Christian right is correct and God has an ordained concept of gender with which people must conform in order to be godly, how does it fit into these widely-recognized levels of variation? Is a woman in a dress, lipstick, and stilettos who likes crafting more worthy of God's approval than one in jeans who likes fixing cars? Is a dude clad in lumberjack garb who likes to hunt and watch football more worthy than one who wears button-downs and tailored trousers while working in a library?

A century ago, pink was a color for boys rather than girls because of it's closeness to red. Long hair has gone in and out of favor for men and women, along with wigs and high heels. In many indigenous cultures, face and body makeup is applied by men before going into battle, and is an intensely masculine gender performance.

So does God want pink onesies for girl babies or boy babies? Do they get mad when women wear pants, or are they angry that men wear them now, given that Jesus wore a dress? Are mullets an abominational gender blending of God's hair expectations?

Can you see the ridiculousness of these ideas?

Our creator and judge is the force which keeps the universe expanding and the blood in our veins pumping. The force which created the astonishing diversity of sea life and endlessly evolving rain forest insects. The force which perpetually calls us to love and unity.

The idea that the God who created the magical lushness and reproductive oddity of anemones sits around obsessing about boundaries for human desire and gender manifestation is an abuse of biblical texts and flies in the face of God's revealed reality.

God doesn't frown on diversity in any form. They invented it.